i am very excited about this third Knives Out movie in development. also, no one on the internet knows how to cast Knives Out movies. i have plenty of favorite actors that wouldn’t work in a Knives Out situation — Knives Out situations require ceding star power to work as a team (it’s why Chris Evans was a standout in the first one). they require gameness but also silliness (Paul Mescal, for example, is game but not silly). i think the best way to describe how i perceive this is: you have to build a Knives Out situation the way you would build a baseball lineup. it can’t all be power hitters, it can’t all be people with incredibly high on-base percentages, it can’t all be quick little base-stealers. it requires balance. it requires character actors, stars, and stars who are also character actors. it cannot just be people you like.
to test this hypothesis, i took the 9 top-billed actors from the first Knives Out and placed them into a baseball lineup, along with explanations of what’s expected from players who hold those positions in the line.
i wish you all happier and more well-rounded fan casting! let me know in the comments or replies who you’d like to see in Knives Out 3, but only if you mean it.
1 - Daniel Craig
i am shamelessly stealing all of these descriptions from wikipedia: “The leadoff batter is traditionally an individual with a high on-base percentage, plate discipline, bat control, good speed, and the ability to steal bases.”
this is your Benoit Blanc. this is your James-Bond-who-is-also-an-incredible-SNL-host. this is where you put Daniel Craig.
2 - Christopher Plummer
“The second batter is usually a contact hitter with the ability to bunt or sacrifice a baserunner over or get a hit.”
christopher plummer is a big get! he is Captain Von Trapp!!! he is the handsomest man in the world, and it is always good to see him, especially as he aged into legacy actor status. but also: you can kill him early on! you can sacrifice Captain Von Trapp for the plot, and it’s often better if you do.
3 - Toni Collette
“The third batter, in the three-hole, is generally the best all-around hitter on the team, often hitting for a high batting average but not necessarily very fast.”
this is an important, load-bearing role for the team. your three hitter is where you put your best actor! toni collette is a star, but she is a star because she is a famously very good actor, not for the sake of stardom.
4 - Chris Evans
“The fourth player in the batting order is known as the cleanup hitter, also known as the cleanup spot and in modern baseball is almost always one of the best hitters on the team, often the one with the most power and ability to drive in runs with extra-base hits (double, triple, or home run).”
this is your power hitter. this is putting Captain America in your movie in 2019. the coolest thing you can do with him is employ him in a dangerous way (make him hit a home run with bases loaded! make him the most important villain of your mystery movie)! the risk of striking out is high, but the benefits of taking that risk can be very substantial.
5 & 6 - Ana de Armas & Jamie Lee Curtis
“The fifth and sixth (and sometimes seventh) batters have traditionally been RBI men, with the main goal of driving runners home, especially with sacrifice flies.”
this is where you put your newcomer (de Armas) — you’re giving her the chance to make a big swing and score some runs. and she does! she is wonderful in the first Knives Out. this is also where you put Jamie Lee Curtis, who has been pivoting from Straight Up Stardom to these kind of de-glamming, falling-on-your-sword character roles in the past several years (think EEAAO).
7 & 8 - Michael Shannon & LaKeith Stanfield
“The seventh and eighth batters are often not as powerful as the earlier batters, and do not have as high a batting average. They are often players who are in the lineup more because of their defensive ability.”
this is the straight up character actor spot! it’s where you put old reliables who are better known for their performances than their faces1 (Michael Shannon) and consistent, good, relative-newcomers who turn out strong performances but are less-immediately recognizable (this was definitely true of Stanfield in 2019).
9 - Don Johnson
“The nine hole is traditionally meant for people that struggle to bat.”
this comes off a littler harsher than i mean it. this is also where you put a guy who’s on the edge of retirement — maybe he was a huge star at one point, but now he’s older and more tired and has a lower batting average. that’s the Don Johnson role. he was a huge TV star in the 80s, it is nice to see him, he doesn’t do anything particularly interesting, but he can blend into the background (and your memory — i barely remember him in this movie, tbh).
the long unemployment is sort of over — i’ve been having a really great time working for the past two weeks as a research assistant for a journalist. i am open to more work (in fact, i need more work)! if you know of anyone or anything looking for someone, feel free to reach out for my resume. you can find my portfolio on my website.
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i do think both of these people are hot, do not get me wrong.
In her shoes is an all timer toni colette performance btw….
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